Well, readers, once again the change has come, and I’m not talking about menopause.
The boy and I have parted ways; the only thing I really have to say about it is that life is strange. You think you have it planned? No, nothing ever happens the way you think it’s going to. Nothing lasts forever; I’ve heard it said that every plan is a tiny prayer to Father Time, and sometimes prayers aren’t answered. That’s life.
And so here we are again. Life is wide open, every path is available to me. I don’t know where I’ll be in a year, but 3 months ago I had no idea I’d be here, so I guess the plan is just to hold on for the ride.
I’m sad. I’m confused. I’m broken But I’m also hopeful and ready for the future. I said goodbye to him tonight, summoned my strength and cut all communication. I didn’t want to. I wanted to stay, forever, try to make him come back and love me. But somehow, I knew I couldn’t do that anymore. For the first time, I chose myself, and my life.
So for the first time in 7 years, his number is gone from my phone. His name is gone from my Facebook page. He will probably never be gone from my head (first loves tend to hang around, in a nostalgic sort of way), but he is finally gone from my life. And for the first time in my adult life, it’s just me.
So join me, readers. It’s time for the next phase, the future, my next step. I’d love if you’d join me.